She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize