I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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