sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize
