i permit you to call me
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize