White coat. Heels.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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