SEEEEXXX PLEASE
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
