I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
