break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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