I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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