This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
