get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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