It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
