I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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