Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
