Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
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I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
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He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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