took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
