I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
