So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My bed smells like the plague
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
