either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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