Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
