Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
