My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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