It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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