I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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