We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
