im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
