pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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