did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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