I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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