Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
