just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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