are you still at the devil's house?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
