think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
