Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
