Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
