I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
