i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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