This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
