I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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