awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
