i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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