??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
