really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
