morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize