i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
