can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
God, I missed his penis.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
