i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
