their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize