Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
