trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
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Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
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Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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