I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
