Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
