I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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