real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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