I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
