I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
