This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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