Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
