i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
