i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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